Blue Pride Forever

23. There was this feeling in my chest that I had never felt before- like I was on the edge of a cliff looking down. But I wasn't. I was looking out at my classmates as the little boy, the man, that I had gone to preschool with addressed us, spoke for the last time to us as a whole- as one thing. The Senior Class of 2010. How could it be this time already, when I still remember the exact moment I entered this school as a senior? How can I move forward when everything I am is tied up in these halls? We will never be these people again, we will leave behind us all the titles we gained from THS. But hopefully, the lessons we learned, from our teachers, from each other, will follow us no matter where we go. I will carry this place in my heart for the rest of my life.

Ready, set, go.

Senior Rush

22. Before I even knew what was happening I was being rushed towards the lobby with 245 other seniors. Cameras in the air, tears in our eyes, voices blending together- emotions drowning us. There was nothing I could say, no words to describe what I was feeling. The end? The beginning? Maybe it's just the middle. But it's Tuesday, and it will never be Tuesday again- not like this. The end of life as we know it. The middle of who we will be.

Ready, set, go.

This Sort Of Thing I Write About

21. I felt like I was wearing a costume. Work clothes were words that described what I wore to clean the house, not this. Black on black on black, and even the pink headband in my hair couldn't make it better. Couldn't make it me. 'Welcome to the real world.' My mother said to me. Somewhere inside of me, I think she wants me to fail. But you know me- I hit the ground running. Things just work out.

Ready, set, go.

Senior Skipping

20. I took a plunge into darkness, I didn't know what was coming- what turns I would hit, but I gripped Christie Chaput's hand and Nick Spark's shoulder like I would fall off the ride if I so much as let go. What I didn't expect in the first turn into darkness, was that this, unexpectedly, was fun.

Ready, Set, Go.

The First Bridge I Never Burned

19. I couldn't bring myself to cry. Karrah could, but the tears just couldn't come. I was almost embarrassed at my own relief making that final drive back across the bridge. Final drive- final run. No more Cadet. What have I learned?

Ready, set, go.

We'll Waste Away The Day With Perfect Regard

18. They were adorable. You could tell by the smile on their faces that they meant every note, every word of appreciation and I suddenly missed the days when music was just music and It didn't mean a lot of work and a competition. Back when music was synonymous with joy. Back when this was still my school.

Ready, set, go.

Awards & Earning The Life I Want

17. My heart raced as I took center stage, my thoughts swirling in a rush of graduation announcements and tickets, college acceptance letters, the money I don't have, and the education I want. We were hot and sweaty and uncomfortable in our Sunday best, but I came back to my seat a thousand dollars richer, and I wasn't so hot anymore.

Ready, set, go.

It's Something Unpredictable, But In The End Is Right, I Hope You Had The Time Of Your Life

16. I cried, mascara stinging my eyes as I studied the faces around me. Memorized them. 'Time of Your Life' played and I mouthed the words voicelessly. Last Dance. Last Time. Final Run.

Ready, set, go.

Cinderella Complex

15. It feels more like my coronation than a high school dance. A rite of passage in the trial by fire life. Months of preparations, primping, and choices of things like crystal or pearl? Silver or white? Roses or carnations? Finally the day is here. But it's just prom. One prom in the history of thousands of proms. And while I've always been a romantic, I know that tomorrow will not be my fairy tale dream I've always had of my prom, my coronation of sorts into the real world. But in pink and crystal I will enter that ball room like it's the last Lunar Ball, and I will feel like a princess no matter what.

Ready, set, go.

14. Mulka, who has never met either of my parents except in passing, wrapped her arms around both of them as the three of us cried in joy over the news- the cancer hasn't spread. At least that we know of, but suddenly there's this glimmer of hope and I will cling to it with my whole being.

Ready, set, go.

13. It was like someone punched me in the chest, and then in the face. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't process the words I was hearing. It was like a bad lifetime movie. It was unreal. The only thing that was real was my very real need to vomit. Cancer. He has cancer. This terrible disease that plagues those other poor families that I buy bracelets for and do fundraising for without much else thought except 'Oh, those poor families.' And now those families are my family. We're the poor family. There's words that I hate. 'Survival' and 'Appointments' and 'Oncologists' and 'Med Chart' and people saying things like 'good days'. I don't want 'good' days and 'bad' days. I want normal days. I don't want to lose a battle I'm not even allowed to fight.

stop, stop, STOP!

Never Throw Away Perfectly Good Spankies

12. And though I probably should have, I didn't feel the least bit uncomfortable in a pair of old spankies as I joined my friends on the court. Though my goal was mainly the exercise, the competition secretly excited me. Boys vs Girls, like it was a middle school, and every game after became more competitive. No life lesson, nothing to remember, just a friendly game that made me smile and remember why it's worth bothering.

Ready, set, go.

Cruise Control & Other Things That Won't Cost $110

11. So I held that stupid purple paper in my pocket. I could feel it there - burning my skin through my dress pant that are too tight in the waistband and make me sick to my stomach. Or maybe I was sick to my stomach already. A ticket. A speeding ticket. The eighth deathly sin. But, with a sighing breath and a headache the size of a small van, I paid the cashier and went on my way with only an offence of 'impeding traffic'. & though I'm grateful, I still look back on November and wonder '...what traffic?'.

Ready, set, go. {slower next time}