9. & suddenly it hit me: what if I don't remember? What if it goes away and I can hold onto this feeling? Will I forget? The tears fall in cascades as I try to linger just a little longer under the lights- as I try to remember this feeling; freeze the memory in my mind. This is it, I tell myself. This is really, really it. No more 'next season', no more 'next practce'. There is no more. So I sit in my car and sob and bargin with God and I know it's useless and childish but what do you do when you lose the one place you've ever felt you belonged? This can't be it. It can't be over.
Ready, set, go?
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